Having succeeded for many years in the semi-conscious quest not to fall in love with a woman I hardly know (or one who plainly does not and will not feel the same way), and having thankfully experienced a (possibly related) significant decline in the frequency of (remembering) dreams wherein I am happily in love . . . it was all the more powerful and heart-quaking when I woke from just such a dream today.
Incidentally, this was also the first dream in MANY years to feature Nicole Marie Polka.
Backstory: I am in high school. I believe this was one of those relatively frequent dreams where I actually go BACK to high school at my CURRENT (or at least recent) age, or at least with my current-age mind.
I do not recall if my friends & classmates were in a similar situation. Bob Heinrich, Tom Rausch and possibly Mike Starr were present at some point(s). Interestingly, I had recently developed the ability to levitate; I could will myself slowly up to any height I desired, as well as rotating my body into any position I liked, and I think I could even move slowly from place to place. Each movement against gravity was very closely linked to my breathing; I think I had to concentrate on any given inhale/exhale cycle during which I wished to make a movement, i.e. going up a little bit, or twisting my body a bit. That is to say, that particular breath cycle required much effort and focus in order for the movement to be executed just as I wanted.
I just realized the rarity of this particular dream or sequence thereof . . . while a dream involving high school, a superhuman ability, OR a love interest is not at all uncommon, I don't know that I've EVER had one that featured all THREE elements. Of course, this serves to make it all that much more memorable.
*sigh*
So. After demonstrating to my class(mates) this fantastic skill, and presumably reaching the end of the class period, I floated out of the classroom and into the hall, whilst approaching from another direction, who should appear but that high school sweetheart of mine. At this point we were definitely present-day-aged. Nicole had two broken legs. I'm not sure of her stage of recovery, whether she had crutches and/or casts and/or some bizarre thing one tends to find only in a dream (but finds quite normal whenst dreaming). Come to think of it, I believe that her being in that condition made her more approachable to me! As if her being unable to excel in athletics (which she certainly did in reality, being a varsity member of both basketball and tennis all 4 years) made her less interesting/popular/accepted, and therefore closer to me in social status.
Some words must have been exchanged between us, though I've no recollection of them.
The next dream/sequence I recall took place in something like a large banquet hall, a single room at least the size of a very large high school gymnasium. I believe I was still engaging in levitative (?) behavior at this point. It seems to me that this may have been a high school reunion in fact, as my impression now is that our entire graduating class was present. In fact, given the size of the room and the number of people present, there would have to have been a LOT more people there than the 80 or so that comprised our class. Whatever the event, it took place in the future, sometime in our 40s or even early 50s I'd guess.
This, too, is very rare in my dream experiences. Ergo, much harder to forget or allow to fade.
Again, most of the specific dialog escapes me, but Nicole was at my side as spouse or committed partner, and I/we were chatting casually and comfortably with our alums. The one phrase that echoes in my mind was something to the effect of ". . . and to think, this is the girl I was in love with for 6 years! No, actually, it was 7." Actually, it was 4 ½ at most, but mathematics (like physics and other aspects of reality) seems terribly unfixed in the land of somnus.
Oh, wow. I've remembered another scene tied into this whole storyline. I don't know if it was before, after, or actually PART of that whole "reunion" scenario. There was definitely karaoke, or something quite like it. I was performing before a fairly large crowd (larger than the reunion group), at some point doing at least one DC Talk song . . . and also fearlessly trying to pull off octaves and/or vocal equivalents of instruments that I KNOW are well beyond my abilities. I remember holding the microphone much closer to my mouth than is advisable.
Yet another scene, also before/after/during that last one . . . I am something like a leader of a worship service, in a small arena-type setting, and a very unconventional service too. Just walking around in the main area as well as up and down some of the steps, speaking and/or singing. I THINK Nicole also played a part in this episode, perhaps providing me with support and courage?
I guess the bottom line is that a significant chunk of the whole dream series takes place in THE FUTURE, after Nicole and I have been together very happily for several years, and the feelings and sensory impressions left by THAT are so much stronger and more immediate and more important than all of the details (who/what/when/where) combined.
Then of course upon waking, one cannot help but give credence to the possibility (despite its infinitesimally minute nature) that she and I CAN meet again someday and finally be able to relate to one another . . . find enough common ground to develop a relationship . . . and ultimately become so content and fulfilled in each other that we don't even think about – let alone regret – all those intervening years between NOT getting to know each other in H.S. and living out our lives apart, before finally embracing the beautiful fate of togetherness. 4 ½ years of unrequited (and inexplicable) love (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), 20 years of distance so great that they might as well have been light years.
Then ultimately, whatever amount of time we might have together, being so joyous and magnificent as to essentially erase any negative aspect of the past.
Has anyone who ever lived dreamt a more beautiful dream?
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If you can only remember and try to live by 1 verse from each Testament of the Bible, try these:
Deuteronomy 6:5 "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."
Matthew 6:10 "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."
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