Dear Arizona:
 
Because you are either incompetent or too stupid to care for yourself, we must step in to take care of you.  We don't like your "anti-immigrant" legislation, nor do we care to fulfill our responsibility to secure your border with another nation.  Also, we don't owe you OR the American people ANY explanation for what we knew about "Fast and Furious" or when we knew it.  We are above reproach, and above the laws of the U.S. Constitution that we swore to uphold.  If you disagree with us, we will call you names like "racist" and "anti-immigrant."  We're with the federal government, so you'd BETTER cooperate!

Contemptuously,
Barack Obama & Eric Holder

P.S.  Let your 56 siblings know that we don't care about "states' rights" or limitations on federal authority and power-grabs.  And don't give us any of that "checks and balances" nonsense -- the Supreme Court agrees you WILL pay for health care whether you have any or not, and your Congress hasn't even passed a budget in like THREE YEARS!